I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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