quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
