that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I love you. Go after that dick
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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