Define "chronic" masturbator.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
