Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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