I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize