I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
