does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
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We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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