shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
