Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
