so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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