Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
