3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
