JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
