after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
