i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
