Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Michael Bay diarrhea
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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