I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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