He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
