If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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