Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
