He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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