Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
