does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
