is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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