Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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