Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
