Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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