You can't special order awesome
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
