If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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