So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
