i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize