Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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