Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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