butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
