You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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