I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
