you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
