I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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