Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dicks are not precious.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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