people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
