All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
