I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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