used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
