Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
