Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
