Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize