its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
