At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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