I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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