I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.