God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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