Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️