chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.