i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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