So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
